Friday, January 23, 2009

Grumpy!

Last night no one in the house slept very well apparently. Hubby came to bed and it was about 12 when he went to sleep. By 2 I woke up because I could tell he was uncomfortable or in pain or something. I finally asked him if he was ok and he said he thought he had indigestion. He finally gets up about 2:30 and takes some Pepto. He comes back to bed for a little bit and I can tell he's sleeping a bit better. But then he starts getting restless again. I told him he may need to sleep in the recliner to help ease the pressure. So he gets up and goes in the living room. I kind of fall back asleep but the next thing I know, he's in the bathroom sick as a dog. So I get up and go use the other bathroom then just kind of wait up to see if he needs anything. It's about 4-4:30 before we start to get back to sleep.

Now off and on all night I've heard the boy whining in his sleep. So I figure he must not be sleeping very well either. At one point he starts crying really hard so I go to get him, but he is still actually asleep. I leave him be to see if he goes back to sleep and he does. But by about 5:30, he starts crying hard again. So I go get him and bring him to bed with me. We finally get to sleep and I wake up about 6:35 (which is late). So I get up and get a shower and just start getting ready.

Now the boy is awake of course and he is GRUMPY! He is just whiny and grumpy and tired. Everything is making him cry. Well I get dressed and ready and then head out to warm the truck up. When I come back in, the boy says to me, very whiny "Daddy's being grumpy!". I could not control my laughter. I guess hubby had made a noise b/c he was still trying to sleep and the boy was crying because I had gone outside. So the boy just says that Daddy's being grumpy. I was laughing so incredibly hard when he told me that!

great article!

Someone posted this on their babycenter journal and I just loved it. I wish I had it during my first pregnancy. There was only one doctor that had to make a point about my size and I wish I'd had this to show him.


Size-Friendliness: A Message To Providers


How To Treat a Pregnant Woman - Regardless of Her Body Size


By Dawn Mantas


Understand that I know, better than anyone else in the world, what my body size is and how it affects me, my health, and my baby. Listen to me. Respect my intuitions about my body and my baby. Praise me when I’ve gained a pound, five pounds---“Good, that baby’s growing!"


Touch me gently, with respect and consideration. Talk to me as an equal. Respect my intelligence. See my body as human, not ugly or abhorrent. Pay attention to me. Watch my belly grow and comment on it when you measure, tell me how beautifully I’m growing a healthy baby.


If my baby’s heartbeat is hard to find, blame it on the machine or that active little one, not on my belly. Don’t blame me. Don’t shame me. Don’t patronize me or sneer when I step on a scale. Know that your eyes and your face say as much as your mouth.


Be aware of your own biases and prejudices. Acknowledge your humanness as well as my own. Give me personal attention. Educate me, and let me educate you. Be open to new ideas, even if they seem foreign to you. Don’t handle me or speak to me roughly. Anger isn’t going to help you or me.


Understand that I am unique. I am not like “every other fat woman” you’ve ever treated. Please don’t treat me as a national average. If my body size makes you assume things about me and how my body is going to react to pregnancy, try to remember that I am not a statistic. Do not make pregnancy complications a self-fulfilling prophecy. Give me a chance to grow a healthy baby. Know that I love my body and I love this life growing inside of me as much as any other mother you have ever seen.


Do not stand apart and judge me. Instead, enter into a relationship with me. I am not foreign, I am not “other,” I am human, I am just like you. Do not treat me like a child and talk down to me.


There are some things you CAN assume: Assume that I already know or have heard at some point that I would lose weight if I would “just decrease my caloric intake and increase my exercise.” Assume that I have had 'the talk' about my “weight issues.” Assume, too, that someone at some point has suggested that I seek counseling or therapy for my “emotional eating.”


I am not entering into this relationship with you in order to solve the problem of my body size. I am entering into this relationship because I love my baby and want him or her to be born healthy and whole. I am who I am, right now, this minute, and the next nine months aren’t going to create a magical overnight change in my body size or my psyche when it comes to my weight. Don’t pressure me to be something or someone I am not.


Try to see me as human, and as beautiful, as everything human can be. Share the joys with me, the heartbeat, the movements. Sympathize with the discomforts, the heavy belly, the aching ligaments, the morning sickness---without judgments, please. My aches and pains, my joys and sorrows, are the same AND different than any other woman in the world, regardless of her body size. Give me your support. Give me your hand. Look into my eyes. Smile. We are in this together, and we want the same exact things.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

frustrated

I am just so frustrated. I would love to know why my 'feelings' are always wrong!! I would never tell someone that what they are feeling is wrong. What you feel is what you feel. I am so tired of every time I am hurt and upset, I try to talk it out and all the other person can tell me is how wrong I am. Now this is just with 2 people in particular, and amazing, it's the 2 of the people I am closest with. One being my husband. He is not the one I am frustrated with right now, but the same thing happens with him. Most of the time with him, the situation is always about his mother. And when I try to talk to him, he just takes up for her. So it's pointless now to even talk it out with him.

The other person is a co-worker. And I swear every time I have an issue and we talk, all I ever get out of it is that I'm wrong and I should not feel that way. Well guess what, I do feel that way!! And she never totally understands. I think I have a communication problem I guess because I can never seem to get across to anyone exactly how I am feeling. They just never fully understand and it seems like I always have to apologize for feeling the way I do. Is that right? Something is bothering me, upsetting me, hurting me - and I am the one that has to apologize. It just really pisses me off and then it just makes me feel worse than I already do.

Friday, January 16, 2009

catch up / random ramblings

January has been a busy busy month for me so far. But let me go back to Christmas. Christmas went okay. Hubby was still sick and ended up staying home all day Christmas day. Justin had a blast with all his toys. He got lots of hot wheels cars, a tool bench with tools, a race track, and a music set (harmonica, egg shakers, kazoo, etc). And of course some other little things that I can't even remember now! I got a new digital camera and Travis got a new jacket and new shoes along with a couple of CD's.

So Christmas came and went, hubby was still sick and has been out of work for 3 weeks. He just started back working this week and it's not even been all week. So our purse strings are going to be very very tight for a while so we can catch up on everything.

The pregnancy is going well. I've started to feel the babe flutter and kick some finally. We had our ultrasound this week and found out we're having a little girl. I must say I was semi-shocked. I had a feeling that we'd be an all-boy family. I am very happy that we're having a little girl (not that I wouldn't have loved a boy any less, it's just more exciting that it's a girl because it was unexpected). So now begins the fun!! We'll have to stock up on clothes since I can't use Justin's old clothes. As far as equipment, the only thing I really need/want is a swing. My MIL got us a crappy old swing for Justin that is blue. But I want to buy a new girly swing for this babe. The only other major thing I want to get is a new bedding set for the crib. I definitely want it to be girly, but I'm trying to stay away from 'pink' overload!! I found a cute one that is purple (not lavender - purple) that I like and another one that does have pink in it but a lot of other colors as well.

Then there's the name. With the boy, we didn't go through the name selection process. When hubby and I started dating, he told me that he had this name picked out that he loved for a boy. He told me what it was and I loved it too. So, when we found out we were having a boy with my first pregnancy, we already knew what the name was. This time is much different. I've thought about names all week long and my hubby just keeps shooting down almost all of my suggestions! I have come up with some very pretty choices and he doesn't seem to like any of them. Now he hasn't had any contributions really. But I know he's still not fully recovered from being sick and is trying to focus on getting back to work. So, I'm kind of done with names for now. When hubby is feeling better and we can get a baby book and go through names together, we'll get it figured out. I know I have plenty of time anyway, so it's no rush. I just feel like I should be 'doing' something now that I know it's a girl!

Work has been extremely busy. We've got the books closed finally for December and the year 2008. We've finished our year-end files for corporate. Now I have to work on property taxes while a co-worker works on 1099's. Then we get to start on our tax files. yay!! :/ Meanwhile, our boss is pretty much unavailable this month due to our company's sales process. So I'm making sure I pull my fair share around and we'll get through this eventually!

Other than that, things are pretty much normal. Just working and trying to take care of the family.