at my whit's end

Justin has always slept through the night very well ever since he started daycare at 6 weeks old. Sure, there's been times here and there that he's woken up (ear infections, teething), but generally, a good sleeper. Well for about the past month or so, he's been waking up in the middle of the night and I have no explanation of it. He's also had mommy-itis and it's getting worse. Now, the waking in the night has progressed from crying to ear-piercing screams. All the while saying "I want mommy". Usually I pick him up and hold him for a few mins and then lay him back down, to which he still cries, but usually falls back asleep after 5-10 mins.

Last night, I decided to skip the holding him part and just let him cry him self back to sleep. But the screaming just got louder and became more like "shrieking". So, I go in to his room, tell him to lie down while mommy sits by his bed. He laid back down, but he just laid there. he wouldn't drift off to slip, he'd just lay there quietly. So, I grabbed one of his blankets and a stuffed animal (to use as a pillow) and also "laid down" on the floor. An hour and a half later, I woke up and was sure he was asleep, so I get up to go back to my own bed. Well, he immediately starts crying. I comfort him and tell him to go back to sleep and that mommy is going to go nite-nite in her own bed. I laid back down in my bed and he is still screaming. So I go back in his room, and he's sitting up just boo-hooing. I go grab my pillow and a real blanket and laid down on his floor. He was fine. I fell asleep for about an hour. This time, he's really asleep, so I get up and go lay in bed.

I'm not in bed 10 mins when he starts shrieking again!!!! You have got to be kidding me. Why can't he sleep on his own anymore?? I take my pillow back in there and lay on the floor. I spent the rest of the night in there. Slept like crap!! I finally get up at 6:30 to use the bathroom and to get ready for work. Well guess who wakes up like 2 mins later and starts crying b/c mommy is out of sight??? He doesn't even want me to take a shower. He didn't want daddy to hold him while I took a shower or got him a juice cup or anything. So we head into the kitchen to get a cup. I set him down and take 2 steps to go to the fridge, and he starts crying and following me!! Come on! I manage to get him a cup. I take him back into the bedroom and turn on the Disney Channel to hopefully occupy him while I take a shower. He soon got over it, but he still didn't like it if I was out of his sight.

I don't think he's sick, I don't think he's having night terrors (after doing a little research, I discovered that kids are usually "asleep" during night terrors and he most definitely was awake.), I'm not sure of whether or not he's having nightmares or what. He has talked about a "car getting him" over the past couple of weeks. Oh, and when he cries a lot like that in the night he coughs to the point where it sounds like he's gagging and that scares the crap out of me. And I don't know if it's drool or sweat, but when he has these fits, he wakes up with this smell about him. Since he's had ear problems in the past, I checked last night after bathtime to see if it was his ears, and I don't think it is. So I think it's all the drool and/or sweat that gets worked up and out of him during these fits in the middle of the night.

Anyone have any ideas?? I don't know what to do anymore. I just hate it that he has such severe mommy-itis and that he doesn't sleep well anymore. I think I'm going to call the doctor's office this morning to see if I can talk to someone and get a professional's opinion. I'm at my whit's end here....

hormones

So after a little husband-wife time last night, I started crying. Why? Hormones - but I'll explain what I was going through.

It seems like no matter what I do, my husband is always laughing at me. We have a fun, joking relationship so it's normal to us. But I swear like it seems like he's been laughing at me even more lately. For instance, when I tried to gargle hot-salt water for my sore throat yesterday morning, my gag reflex really kicked in and I started heaving over the kitchen sink. Of Course the boy is up under me going "Mommy, you ok?" as I push him away. Hubby comes in the kitchen asking if I'm okay, and I tell him that trying to gargle really made my gag reflex kick in. He starts laughing. I'm sure he was laughing at how I said it or just at what I said. But I said "What is so funny about that?" It just rubbed me the wrong way ya know? So he stopped laughing.

Last night, after our "time" together, he starts laughing at me again. I again asked what was so darn funny. He said "You just looked so comfortable". Now he was being sarcastic b/c the position we were in was not the most comfortable, but it got the job done, ya know? So as I get up to go to the bathroom, i just start crying. I kept it to myself b/c I knew it wasn't his fault, but I just felt like I couldn't do anything at all without my husband laughing at me and making me feel like a fool.

I dried my tears really quickly b/c I knew it was just the hormones making me crazy. I've done a bit of crying in the past month or so - all thanks to hormones.

shoes

I hate shoes. I know that's a bold statement coming from a female, but I do. I would love shoes, if I didn't have such huge feet. I used to wear a size 10, but now they're too small. I seem to only find size 11's, but they're too big. That means I need a size 10.5 - but trying to find those is like trying to find a needle in a haystack!! When I do find a pair, they're usually at an outrageous price! When I do by chance find some that I can afford and are decent enough that I can wear to work I get them. But would you like to guess how long they last? Usually not long at all, maybe 3-4 months tops. I have discovered why (I think). It always seems that my right shoe always breaks or tears apart soon after. Apparently I can't walk correctly. I'm either out of balance when I walk or I walk heavy on my right side or something. Whatever it is, I always am rougher on my right shoe than my left shoe.

So after all, I just hate going shoe shopping b/c it's so difficult to find a pair that fit me, I can afford, and are durable enough to last.

in case you didn't know...

I can't keep my mouth shut. This is so super early, but whatever!

Some relaxation please?

As I have previously noted, I've been busting my butt at work for several months now with not really any decent time off. Maybe a day here or there, and several days for Justin's accidents or sickness or appointments. But no real time off.

I was going to take time last month, but then we found out that auditors would be here. So, I postpone it and have scheduled this Thurs & Fri off b/c the auditors were only supposed to be here for 4 weeks. Well, now they're not leaving until 10-31. so now I don't know whether to take time off this week or not. I'm going to wait until Wednesday and see where we stand before I take off on Thursday.

But even if I do take off Thurs & Fri, I have no idea what to do. Thurs will probably be house cleaning/decorating for fall followed by a hair appt at 3. That leaves Fri, Sat, and Sun. Friday I'm torn between taking Justin to the state fair or taking him to the aquarium at Pine Knoll Shores. It's an aquarium on the coast here in NC that is supposed to be awesome since they re-did it a few years ago. I think going to the aquarium would be cheaper (as money is super super tight right now), but I would love to take him to the state fair. If I take him by myself to the fair though, we wouldn't be able to do anything but just walk around. I don't know if Travis would take time off to go or not. Then, I was thinking about this weekend. I'd love to go see my friend in Norfolk as she has a new baby and I haven't seen her in forever. But with her newborn and 5 year old and my rambunctious 2 year old, we wouldn't be able to "do" a whole lot. I don't know. I just need to do something with myself besides work, housework, or stare at a tv.

growing up so fast

My boy just turned 2 and he's growing up so fast. This boy talks better than most of the kids in his class at daycare and you can clearly understand him. Although, last night it took me two aisles in the grocery store to realize that "nuffin" was really "muffin" and not "nothing". lol!! Anyway, the boy knows all his colors already, can sing the ABC song (I know, he has no idea what the ABC's are), knows some numbers (1,2,3,4,6,13,11!), and is really good with names.

Now, I'm not "bragging" that my kid is "smart". I'm telling you how amazed I am at how much information this kid absorbs. He just takes in everything!! It's amazing! And he repeats everything too - which is good and bad. Bad meaning - he repeats mommy when she tells daddy to shut up!! I've told him when I do that that mommy is not nice and we shouldn't say things like that. But I'm usually saying shut up in that playful - stop picking on me and leave me alone way, not when arguing or anything.

And now, some random mommy ramblings:

This is our nighttime routine:
Me: nite-nite
Him: nite-nite
Me: I love you
Him: I wuv you
Me: Sweet Dreams
Him: Seet Dweems
He just has the most adorable voice and it sounds so incredibly sweet.

When we pull up to a drive-thru he says "Talk it Mommy"!

And the child loves tomatoes. He could eat nothing but tomatoes and be happy. I, however, hate raw tomatoes. I don't mind tomato juice, tomato soup, ketchup, spaghetti sauce, etc. But I do not like raw tomatoes.

The kid does tons of cute stuff everyday, but now that I'm trying to type it out, I can't think of it. Will add more later!

potty time?

So I'm of the thinking that I never want to 'push' my child into anything. Yes, sometimes there will come along a situation when the child needs a push - but when it comes to potty training, there's no point in rushing things if he's not ready.

Well, we bought him a potty several months ago just so he could get used to the idea of it being there and it being his. Every now and then he'll sit on it while mommy or daddy potties (sp?), but it's just been 'there'. Lately he's been pulling his pants down and sitting on it. Then he asks for a wipe and "wipes" his diaper! Last night, he was actually walking around the kitchen with his pants pulled down around his ankles saying he had to potty. As I was cooking, hubby takes him to potty. He actually took the boy's diaper off and let him sit on it bare butt. And he peed!!! Just a dribble, but still!! The first time he ever peed in the potty.

I have no notions that this means he'll just jump into potty training right away. But, hey - it's a start!!

so exhausted!!

For the past few months, I've been working my booty off at work. I got promoted to a manager and I guess I just want my boss to think I'm doing a good job and don't won't to disappoint her - as we just had major drama with someone else at work not doing their work. That lady is no longer there! Then, we found out that we are being put up for sale. So we've had to get all the financial data together for the proposal book. Then, we find out we're being audited (joy of joys!). We're currently in the middle of the audit (which lasts for 4 weeks by the way!) and in the middle of our normal month-end work. It's just been nonstop lately. My boss and I have just not had time to take vacations. But we both have some time scheduled off for this month after the auditors leave. I think I'm going to take some extra time at Thanksgiving and Christmas as I have so much vacation time left.

This week has been really stressful on me. I guess it's hormones (that lovely time of the month). But one girl at work manages to really push my buttons. And my 2-year old thinks he must be up under mommy during all his waking hours at home and wake up at 5 am all this week. I was so exhausted that I went to bed at 8:30 last night and slept until 5:45 this morning.

So, housework has gone undone, laundry not folded, dishes not washed, groceries not even bought. I don't really care tho-I'm flippin' tired!!!!